Screamin’ Kids would like to thank Teri Hatcher and all of the other individuals that have come forth and fought the fight to put their abusers behind bars. Thanks to you, other children will not have to become victims to these predators. Plain and simple, those of you that have endured this fight are “Heros”. We know Ms. Hatcher’s name and we wish we knew all of yours, but none-the-less we thank you all.

So if no one else bothers to say it, we want to say as loud as we can,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

From,

Screamin’ Kids

A few months ago I had a conversation with a man that I will refer to as “John”. John, now 46 years old, shared with me a secret he had kept for 40 years. It was the sad story of how he was raped at the age of 7, by a teenage boy. The rape was obviously a horrific event. I could see in John’s eyes the pain it has caused him. John remembers how for weeks following the incident because of the trauma and fear of possibly meeting up with the teenage boy again, he restricted his play area to his front porch. John lived with his parents and sister, out in the country and most days, prior to the incident, he was found out in the woods far beyond his front porch.
It seemed to me, as John was telling his story, that this detail of being afraid to leave his porch area was one detail that left him puzzled. As he began to elaborate on this portion of the story, I was saddened by his rememberence of these weeks following the rape. John told me that typically, as a 7 year old, he could be found out and about exploring the woods and countryside. It seemed that John was quite at home in such a rural area and that he thrived in such a playground. John began to talk more about this time, then asked me a question that seemed to have lingered in his mind for 40 years…

“Why didn’t my family question the change in my behavior?”

I wish I could have answered that for him. Unfortunately, I don’t think his question will ever be answered.

“Are your kids trying to tell you something?” John was trying to tell his parents something but no one was hearing him. At the extent of the change in his behavior, it seemed as though John was screaming but still know one was listening. Would an inquiry as to why John had all of a sudden restricted himself to the front porch changed the path of his life?

The years following the rape, John struggled with many areas of childhood and on to adulthood he now fights depression. I do see some “fight” in John as right now he is in the process of quiting a 20 year habit of smoking. As part of the “non-smoking” plan, John is adapting a lifestyle of exercise and general well being. Perhaps this success will lead to the confrontation of his depression as well. I sure hope so and wish him much success.

Back to my question…

“Are your kids trying to tell you something?”

Just last week, my son was so excited to get a huge lollipop from a candy store we visited while out of town. Later that night when he began to indulge in his treat, I began to give instructions for a task he was to tend to. Of course, in typical 8 year old boy fashion, he could care less about my agenda and disregarded me and my instruction. Well, of course, I proceeded to take his candy away from him, put it on the shelf and told him just what I thought about his pre-occupation with his candy and disregard for my instruction!
Some moments later, after the dust had settled, I had gone on about my business when I noticed my son still sitting where I had left him, and suddenly it hit me…
As I had said… we were on vacation and earlier we had visited this huge candy store, a first for my son. My son is not allowed much candy on a regular basis so you can imagine the excitement of being able to tackle an entire candy store!! So of course he chose to buy the biggest piece of candy he could find. The huge lollipop. He had carried that lollipop all day and before it was over it had been a mock steering wheel, banjo, microphone etc… he really was getting good use of his little treasure. Then there he was at the end of his day about to enjoy the taste, smell and mess of his treasure, and along I came trying to make a point. To me it was just another piece of candy but to my son, an 8 year old boy, it was his whole world. It was so much more than what I had imagined. I realize that my story isn’t in the same realm of John’s tragic event, none-the-less, as a parent I missed, at the moment, what my son was trying to tell me. Just like John’s parents missed his screams. With just a moment of my time dedicated to my sons eyes and body language I could have seen how this huge lollipop was, to him, at that moment, his whole life. I should have seen it before I did but even though I was a few minutes late, I managed to finally hear him trying to tell me how he was feeling. I went on to repair my sons heart and put his world back together. Had I have missed the moment, I don’t think it would have changed the path of his life, however, knowing that if someone would have recognized John’s “moment” it may not have avoided his battles but it could have changed his view of the army supporting him and possibly knowing he had an army on his side, could have changed his journey.
As a mom, I will try my best to see and hear my children more clearly than before. I will take the time to listen to what my childs actions and reactions are telling me, I hope you will do the same with your children. May our children never have to ask…

“why didn’t my parent’s question the change…..?”

Sincerely,
Terri

For those of you that have not had the opportunity to see Efren in action, I suggest you rent the movie Napoleon Dynamite and settle in for a couple hours of side splitting humor!
For myself and thousands of others it seems this movie has served as a humorous reminder to those glorious and -not so- glorious high school years.

To the already established fans of Efren Ramirez, and fans of Napoleon Dynamite, you should know that Efren is every bit as kind and generous as you’d imagine him to be.

FYI to all: Efren is involved in other charities and truely cares about the safety and well being of others.

Screamin’ Kids is pleased to be associated with Efren Ramirez and we thank him for helping us spread the word about child safety. We wish him all the best with his acting career and all he devotes his time and talents to.

Keep your eyes and ears open. We are all sure to see and hear from Efren in many more projects both on and off the screen!!

Efren, you have our vote!

Terri

…running to school, having breakfast in the car, catching a snack after school on the way to the latest sports practice, rushing to the grocery store, doing homework, eating dinner and then preparing to do it all over again the next day.

So as you see, the overall picture probably looks somewhat like yours.

Now that I have shown you the overall picture, lets take a closer look as you may see a few subtle differences. In these differences may lie the divider between a child that is unknowingly a target for an abductor or sex offender, verses a child that is aware of the red flags and knows how to blow the whistle on these preditors.

On the way to school, I remind my son of who will be picking him up and that he is not to go with anyone else. After football practice, I may ask my son on occasion, “have any coaches asked you to keep any secrets? ” or “Did you remain with the team today or did the coach spend any time alone with you?” My son understands from previous conversations that adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets from their parents and that he should not be asked to go anywhere alone with the coach unless I am aware of the situation.

My daughter at times will walk to work, so I remind her to take a different route from the one she may have taken the days before and I confirm with her which route she will take. My daughter knows that its important not to take the same route day after day as a predator wanting to access her could establish her pattern and use that to pursue a plan of abducting and/or violating her.

Before leaving any of my kids at school or extra curricular activities, I might ask them to give me their best “scream”. My kids really like to practice their scream, which they understand can be used as an alarm should anyone try to lure them away or threaten them. Also, all three of my kids have a cell phone which allows me to call and check on them as I please. For some, having cell phones may be a financial burdon, however, my kids join in on my family plan for about $10.00 a month. If you (the parent) have a cell phone, I suggest inquiring to your provider the cost of adding your kids and if its within your budget you may want to consider it.

So you see, these little nuggets of safety, along with many more, can be popped into the hello’s and goodbye’s throughout the day. Some children have an ability to be attentive for long lectures of safety but if your kids are anything like mine, these ideas need to be just a part of life and kept simple. By the way, to my youngest, I will often pose the questions as if I assume it has been done, for instance I might say;

“How much time did you spend alone with your coach?”

Once in awhile, posing my question like this prevents my son from having to admit something to me that he may have been told should be kept between him and a perpetrator. I know that my son may have a harder time — breaking the news — of being alone with the coach, as opposed to just giving some detail about a situation that I seem to already know about due to how I stated my question.

I strongly encourage all of you to find the time to teach your kids about safety.

Finding time to teach your kids about safety may save you the misfortune of having to — try and find your kids.

Parents typically begin talking to their kids about “getting lost” while out shopping, from the moment their kids take their first steps. This concept of “getting lost” seems to be talked about in a very simple manner and the fear that it may introduce to a child is typically not a concern. Maybe this fear is not addressed because we as caregivers understand that this inherent fear of being lost, can actually be a tool that acts as a reminder to children to be mindful of sticking close to the adult they are with. On the other hand, we hear over and over about the concern parents have about instilling a fear in their children concerning kidnapping. Surely we don’t want to frighten our children into a box void of adventure, but understand that “fear” or better stated “valid” fear, can be lifesaving.

Consider the fear that keeps you from taking the dark alley verses the well lit and well traveled route.

You can see that perhaps its not the “valid” fear that we should be so reluctant to instill into our children. And we should understand the value in “valid” fear.

So, “How do I talk to my kids about the issue of Kidnapping ?” We at Screamin’ Kids recommend keeping it simple, and introducing it early. For more information on the Screamin’ Kids approach, be sure to check out our e-book available for free with any purchase of our safety-tip reminding T-shirts.

Remember today is the perfect day to start teaching your kids about safety!

For those of you that are new to Screamin’ Kids, helping kids to understand that they can retaliate and be aggressive when their lives are threatened is what we do. As a society, we seem to hold in such high regard the child that is submissive and passive that we often forget that there is a place for aggression. Aggression is often so disciplined out of children that they have no sense of protection when they are threatened. Though Screamin’ Kids is not on a crusade to create bullies, we are out to show children that it’s OK to be aggressive at times, and it is mandatory to fight for their lives should they ever be in a situation when their lives are threatened.

Our future posts will discuss concepts of child safety and survival mindsets. We will also keep you informed as to our progress in making children aware of the idea of self-protection in the face of danger. We look forward to getting to know you via our blog.

Hope you visit often.